nephew, my nephew. i would have never thought you’d be so disrespectful to me. i loved you before you were born. you were the first person to make me want to sacrifice everything for. i had more than love for you; i exalted you. we were beyond close. i raised you along with your mother, father & grandmother.
you’re a man now, 18. you called me to express your feelings about me and our relationship and that convo ended in a shouting match of unspeakable insults. you tried to tear me apart with your words. you are so young; there is much to learn. i was willing to give you a pass as long as you didn’t confront me again but now you have and i’m done.
something went horribly wrong somewhere in our relationship around the time you were 12 that brought us to this woeful end. i understand i’m not perfect but neither are you…the older you get more i’ve realized that. i always thought you were perfect, that we raised you perfect because we all had perfect, unblemished love for you.
we all had issues though…you grew up around a lot of fighting and drama. i was hoping you wouldn’t be affected but now it’s clear that you were and now you have issues too. your mother and father already feel guilty for that and i do too. we thought we shielded you from the personal struggles we all faced but now here you are all grown up, 18 and with your own issues.
i’m pessimistic about our chances to reconnect soon, nephew. i have to back away from you again. you have given me hurt, deep hurt. all the love i have for and have given to you, this is how you repay it…with pain? challenging me, wanting to fight, calling me with hateful confrontations of situations you had no business expressing such strong opinions on. you’re too young to understand these adult things between your mother, grandmother and myself, yet you keep intruding on them; you’ve been doing this since you were 13.
your verbal assassination never again hurt as much as it did the first time though. a little bit of something expired in me but i still continued to love you and support you, from a distance. i couldn’t tolerate the hurt again. but now you’ve gone and done it again.
why didn’t you just leave things alone between us. give you and me both some time to give each other the benefit of the doubt about what each is doing with his life. i was already sore at you about the iPhone situation, which i never really addressed to you. i chose to give you my iPhone when i got a new one last june, for your birthday. i had other options for it but i gave it to you. never saw it again. you claim a software update wrecked the jailbreak but you still never produced the phone, even after i asked you.
whatever….so you decided to call me tonight and go in on me. no respect whatsoever, speaking to me as if i were your peer. you spout all this dung about you, you, you, how you feel, how we make you feel, how i make you feel. boy please. i can’t imagine that you would have anything to feel deprived about considering the abundance of love in which you were raised. you never wanted for anything…time, love, money. i thought sure you were going to college but you graduated high school last june and are not interested. you claim you’re a producer and you get paid for beats. that’s your income. ok. we’ve never seen any paychecks or proof of this income or benefited from it, because you’ve always kept it to yourself. you still haven’t gotten a “real” job yet…by 18 your mother and i were on our 4th or so but that’s not the point…
i gave you everything mick. i was 18 when you were born and it changed me. you were the first baby of our generation, you and dakima. you had everything first and always with fanfare. i don’t understand why you have issues??? or do you have issues?
you must have issues to keep coming at me with these verbal confrontations every few. be easy. if you’re tight with me, stay away from me. no contact. that’s how we do things. there’s no need to call me with your venom saved up and assault me. i could have done the same thing to you because you have disappointed me but i let it ride. you’re young…you will do young things. heck i got my own kids to raise now lol. but i cannot be in your life if you continue to come at me like this.
i love you, your mother, and your grandmother as always. you guys probably don’t think so just because i stopped communicating via telephone but these new mediums are more efficient for me. you have adopted that way of connecting with me but your mom and grandmother yet haven’t. so it seems as if i am disconnecting from them because i don’t call, and disconnecting means i’m upset about something.
rofl. no wonder we’re so screwed up. nobody confronts anybody about anything they’re feeling in this family. if we’re upset with each other, we just distance ourselves and hope you get the message. it’s been easier that way; no one wants a loud fight and scene. eventually we get over what we were disappointed in you about, and you do too, and we reconnect. it’s worked that way for decades around here lol.
but no, mick wants to come along as the first adult grandson of the generation and confront people lol. he specializes in calling you up and putting you on blast every now and again. about what, i still can’t imagine because like i expressed, you have been deprived of nothing, young man.
so what do you want to hold me accountable for? the fact that i stopped buying you extravagant birthday & xmas gifts? please…you got older and i had the girls. i still did right by you. laptops & iPhones… i don’t see how you can interpret our relationship any other way.
what do you need to hold me accountable for? mick you’re too young and the situations are too complex for you to comprehend from your limited point of view. your mother, sister & i have gone through a lot together but we’re still close and take care of each other. so what are you beefing at me about??
i’ve done right by your mother, always. always. i love my sister, hate to see her in distress. i’ve cried with her and done whatever i could to ease her distress. all of your life. how could you have observed anything other than that? what are you beefing at me about??
if it’s my personal life, and i think it is…that’s none of your business. besides, how has my personal life done anything but benefit you all these years? all you got was more love & gifts anyway. what did i do? what’s your beef with me?
i gave you love. pure love mick. i am so saddened that this is the way it is now.
omg. i am stricken. first the catastrophe in haiti and now this!! oh the black community mourns & weeps…teddy p was the man. he was a king of r&b during the late 70s. he was the first male r&b artist to have his first four solo cd’s go platinum. yep. in just 3 years too, 1977-1980.
well i thought i’d chronicle the way i bring in this new year, 2010. i’m starting at 9pm eastern time so here goes:
