it’s late so what the hell
if you’re still up then yell
holla back so i can tell
but hey don’t get defensive
and please don’t take offense if
your manhood i’ve offended
see i really didn’t mean it
just feeling you up like homo braille
hehe…….lol
i’m sure albert pujols has a huge ole uncut dick
hits homeruns like a school chum he threatened
a dominican with significant foreskin
he’s much too big for his little bitch’s slit
she prolly leaped up and ran away from it
silly young ho too bad she didn’t know
there were dudes so much older
who took care of pujols on the road
but still he’s arriving back home
with his penis erect and swollen
got the green light so now go with it
use your hips or lips; grab hold of it
damn ma see now you were too slow with it
i done scooped up in front & took control of it
don’t blame me young lady i’m disposed to this
been handling dick since i first was exposed to it
way before baseball
would enter your attention
you were raised on barbies & princes
i aged memorizing rbi’s & pinch hits
we both have 2 holes
so to albert pujols
what’s the difference?
been out & about got some head yep i’m shameless
ran out of vodka got some OE from a bodega
I felt powerful & blameless & did something extemporaneous
used my penlight & flame to illuminate where dudes play
in the park after dark but they swear they’re not gay
they’re cruising for sex but i done scared them away
i laugh while they dash like a morse code space
quickly but calmly as if a fire drill were in place
anticipated getting laid but in haste they escape
libido torpedoed so scurry home it’s getting late
lol I’m being a prick cause my desires were sated
but yours are still strong go on home & masturbate
damn that was so good
said the penis to the brain
and that’s how it should
be so why the restraint
he could be but he ain’t
it’s kinda hard to explain
he’s too dark so i evade him
trynna holler can he hang with
me but i know what his aim is
sees my penis when it’s dangling
in these shorts it’s so apparent when
i’m aroused but if i’m flaccid then
wraps his mouth around my phallus &
i smack his face to get it stiffened
when we’re done he’d better listen
with release my affection absconded
grab your things it’s time you departed
it’s bizarre i don’t know where my heart is
and my penis thinks my brain is retarded
i’ve been meaning to write a blog post that doesn’t rhyme or isn’t explicit to explain where my head is at but i keep putting it off…until now.
wow, let’s see, where am i? it’s been rough lately. since the ex cut me off i haven’t been able to obtain any weed. believe me, i have tried, with no luck. as a result, i decided to stop smoking, again. this is the 4th time i’ve stopped in the 18 years that i’ve been a smoker. i hope this time is for good. as much as i love the high it produces, it really is detrimental to my mental health and my productivity.
but now that i’ve stopped, my serotonin & dopamine levels are all over the place. add the way the anti-depressants & hiv meds i take affect those levels as well and you have a lazy, sleepy & hopeless me. the first week was brutal. i had the kids the entire week and didn’t get my customary mid-week break to drink and indulge my porn addiction. i just sat with the feelings (irritability, bitterness, apathy, listlessness) and dozed off all day, every day. i’ve got one daughter in day camp & one home with me, so there’s half the parental obligation. i barely felt like cooking last week, not to mention that we were nearly out of food. so the week of july 5-11 i endured triple digit temperatures, weed withdrawal, abstaining from alcohol, limited food & no money. the only saving grace was the absence of my sex drive so at least my angst wasn’t channeled there and i was able to avoid any park cruising.
so the week ended on sunday, july 11 and the girls went to their mom. boy did i drink it up! i must have had the equivalent of 10 or 12 drinks; cheap vodka, mind you. my bike is still out of commission so i walked to the park and enjoyed sunset (and a friendly butterfly that gave me hope). my sex drive still wasn’t high enough for me to seek any encounters although i attracted a few people. it felt good to stumble out of there drunk but still sexually sober.
the key to stopping smoking for me, even though i hunted laboriously those first few days, is accepting that i cannot have any. i just cannot. i accepted that the only other ways i can alter my mood are via alcohol & porn. i’ve accepted that i’m limited to those ‘highs’ so when i achieve them, i’ve reached a ceiling. i have to ride it out at whatever level these alternative mood alterers produce. i’ve been able to do that but i’m nowhere near being ready to be in the company of someone smoking and not indulge. baby steps…i remember.
i need an additional source of income. since the ex cut me off, those online teaching gigs are no more. how unfortunate for me because it’s summer and the girls & i want to do things. there just isn’t enough $$ after we pay bills and support the household. here’s where my laziness is a huge impediment. i need to come up with some other way to produce an income. not ready to go back into the work force just yet; that plan is for fall 2011. i need a side gig, and i’m intelligent & creative enough to generate one as soon as i conquer this sloth.
let’s see, what else?? i already mentioned the youngest one in day camp. middle daughter is going to 6th grade in a great middle school. we’re all excited about that. and my oldest is scheduled to come home from boarding school before fall. that will be an adjustment, indeed. i’ve all but abandoned her…something i’m not at all proud of so i’m handling it in my usual manner: ignoring it.
i need to return to posting regularly but that too is a casualty of my indolence. i know i’ll get better though; i always seem to.
preferably one with a hairy lower back
dip my chocolate stick in a vanilla bath
watch this 8 1/2 penetrate his ass
but before i do that
need my tongue in his crack
and his nuts over my eyeglasses
while i caress him with my hands
overjoyed cause his foreskin’s intact
so now i get to help it retract
let my tongue roll it back
get on top throw it back
right before i flip him over
put his ankles on my shoulders
now all twelve inches stand exposed
gripped in my fist like a subway pole
gimme a kiss on my lips and let go
i wanna watch while you explode
feel you tightening your hole
almost lost my control
damn my n***a take it slow
nearly spilled all my load
before i finished this poem
ahhh…i’m done let it flow
although twelve times two is twenty 4
i’m drunk & wanted to add two more
