JNez@thirtydaes.2010

my doctor suggested an anal pap smear. it’s a test for abnormal cells generated by the hpv virus (anal warts) that may indicate anal cancer.  i agreed. the results were inconclusive so there’ll be a follow-up with a specialist. great. i bottom one time in my life and all this shit happens….lol.

anyway…it appears that anal cancer is a serious & growing health issue and has begun to affect the gay community at startling rates. i googled anal cancer for more info and i came across an alarming article from the southern voice, an lgbt publication, that bluntly states the facts about the connection between gay men, anal sex, anal warts, and anal cancer. the entire article is worth reproducing here:

Anal Warts, Anal Cancer, and Anal Pap Smears

Anal Cancer, which is rare in the general population, is somewhat common among men who have sex with men. It is also increased in women who have anal sex with multiple partners. It is something you should know about. It is very difficult to treat, and like most cancers, survival is much better if it is detected early. Some new important studies about it have been published recently. It is being talked about more, and recommendations for screening will probably appear over the next few years.

Anal cancer bears some resemblance to cervical cancer in women. Like cervical cancer, anal cancer is often caused by infection with the human papillomavirus (HPV), the virus that causes genital warts. It is spread by sexual contact. While unprotected anal intercourse is the most common way to get the infection (and warts) in and around the anus, anal penetration is not necessary. Rubbing the penis outside the anus can pass the virus. It may also be spread by hands or by sex toys. The infection causes small warts around and inside the anus or in the genital area. However, noticeable warts do not have to be present for a significant infection or cancer to exist.

Most people with anal warts do not develop anal cancer. People with HIV, especially with low CD4 counts, are much more likely to develop cancer from anal warts. A normal immune system is often able to kill the cancer cells. However, anal cancer does occur in HIV negative men. Certain strains of the HPV virus are more likely to cause cancer. Ironically, some of the most cancer producing strains make flat warts that are difficult to see.

There are several methods to test for HPV infection, pre-cancerous cells, and cancer in the anal area. The most accurate is biopsy, done by snipping a small piece of tissue from the anal canal. Because it is costly and a little painful, it is usually reserved for patients with a suspected problem or a positive Pap smear. A Pap smear usually refers to a sample taken from a woman’s cervix, but it may be done from other areas of the body. For an anal Pap smear, a cotton swab is placed in the anus and rotated to pick up cells. It is painless. The sample is then looked at under a microscope to identify abnormal cells. There are also other tests that use a swab and high tech methods to identify the virus.

Routine screening for anal cancer with anal Pap smears in high-risk groups is not done yet, but it may be soon. In the last 4 years, there have been numerous articles in the medical literature about screening for anal cancer and HPV infections. They mostly recommend it for homosexual and bisexual men who are HIV positive, the group at highest risk. In May, there was an article in the prestigious Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) showing the usefulness of routine anal Pap smear screening of HIV positive gay men. It demonstrated a decrease in death and illness at a cost similar to screening tests now in use for other illnesses. However, there are still questions that need to be answered and logistical problems to be solved, before screening programs are widely accepted.

What can you do before testing is available? Pay close attention to your body. If you have anal or genital warts, keep a close eye on them. Find a doctor you feel comfortable with, and have them checked, both for treatment to remove them and to look for suspicious areas. If you have any rectal problems, see your doctor. Most importantly, make sure you are always having safer sex. It’s not just for HIV prevention. There are many illnesses that are passed sexually, and others will be discovered. Protect yourself.

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wow…i can’t help but think that maybe this is just one more natural conviction of a deviant lifestyle…fellas: *ahem* get your anal pap smears.

i had no idea how hideous my jock itch scars were. i finally took a good look at my body and it is a dark, nappy mess down there. when did this happen?? omg. wtf. then my belly of course…it used to be so different. 20 years ago…give me back the body i had then. i’ll take better care of it, i promise.

now i feel absolutely unattractive. at least to the people who i’m attracted to…the pretty people. i’ve never been one but i’ve done ok lol. but i look at my body now and can’t possibly see how anyone could be turned on by it. i can only hope it looks different through a lens of lust lol.

i remember when i first felt jock itch. took me a while to get treated cause scratching down there felt so good. lol i’ve probably had it on and off for the last 13 years or so. i should have taken care of it the first time. never was consistent applying the fungal cream. it’s greasy and odorous. if you don’t apply it to the area twice daily for nearly 2 weeks it keeps returning.

i first noticed the scarring about 5 or 6 years ago. i was alarmed then but after that i only made sure i was consistent applying the cream whenever my crotch started to itch. man i used to get carried away scratching lol. but the itch was so intense…and i would often scratch until i drew blood. then it burned like hell showering.

i continued to ignore my jock itch scars. heck black people don’t scar well. the skin gets even darker, and coarse. that’s what’s going on in my crotch. now i’m propelled to action after looking at myself on video. what can i use to get rid of scars? cocoa butter of course…what am i thinking. 100% cocoa butter sticks…man they work wonders. we’ve used them in our family for generations.

i just have to apply the stick of cocoa butter to my crotch each time i shower. it’s also greasy but has a pleasant smell, like chocolate. i figure it will take at least a month of applying it twice every day before i see results. but i’m gonna start tonight.

*update: i originally wrote and published this entry as one of my blog’s first back in february 2008. with the attention on HIV generated today by President Obama’s decision to lift the ban on HIV travelers into the US i decided to update and republish it.

So I have three amazing daughters, ages 14, 10 and 9. They live with me during the week and with their Mom on the weekend. Almost three years ago, I disclosed my bisexuality to them and it has been fully integrated into our reality ever since.

I was ready to tell them about my HIV status then too, but their Mom encouraged me to wait until they were older. I agreed, but began a timetable of sorts, counting down to that disclosure by introducing the concept of HIV/AIDS. Using age-appropriate descriptions, I educated them on the ways the virus is transmitted and its effect on the body. The movie “Rent” was released on DVD in February 2006 and after watching the way the characters lives were integrated with HIV I decided to invite the kids to watch the movie with me in the hope of establishing an even greater context of the way HIV/AIDS impacts relationships. The children loved the movie and have watched it countless times. It has helped generate invaluable discussions that have offered the opportunity for me to share my values on drug abuse, sexuality, independence, trauma, mental health treatment, death, love, and many other life issues with the children. After more than a year of watching the movie (I even took them to see the play on Broadway), last summer I took the next step in disclosing my status by informing the children that our family had a very personal connection to HIV/AIDS. My father’s four brothers and two other uncles were all diagnosed with and died from HIV/AIDS, I told the children. I also confirmed that there was someone else in the family who was living with the disease and promised to tell them who it was in 2008.

Their Mom was a little upset with me, believing that I had jumped the gun and reneged on my promise to wait a little longer. But I stood firm in not confirming the identity of the person and soon enough, the kids grew tired of asking. We continued to engage in discussions around sex, sexuality, drug abuse and their connections to HIV/AIDS throughout the rest of the year though.

Finally in late November I couldn’t wait any longer. I knew World Aids Day was approaching on Dec. 1 and wanted to take advantage of the elevated media profile HIV/AIDS would benefit from during that period. I again told their Mom I was close to telling them, but she reminded me that I I’d promised to wait until next year. Listening to her try to come up with reasons why it wasn’t time to tell them made me realize that it was SHE who wasn’t ready for me to tell them. They and I were ready indeed. So I told them the very next day.

The actual disclosure was made so much less dramatic as a result of the ongoing dialogue we’d already established around the issues connected to HIV/AIDS. Yes, they were shocked, and yes, by necessity, I had to acknowledge that I’d engaged in reckless sexual behavior. The kids were already aware of my struggle with depression so it was easy to connect the two. Of course they wanted to know about their Mom’s status (which has always been negative) and were relieved when I confirmed that. My youngest had an emotional cry when we acknowledged that HIV is usually fatal, but my disclosure also helpfully illuminated circumstances that they were given fuzzy answers to, like the reason I took medicine and the reasons I stopped working but am still able to support the family via disability grants with no apparent disability.

Disclosing my HIV status is never a one-and-done conversation. The utility is establishing an ongoing discussion about sex, sexuality, behavior, relationships, self-worth, self-harm, and many other human issues with the important people in my life. Allowing my children to hear my perspective on these issues; to frame them within the context of our family values, has enhanced an already incredible relationship with them. When these issues are depicted in the various media outlets that inform and entertain our family, I can now counter or support these interpretations based on experiences that I can appropriately share with my children.

from the washington post 4.8.09

The Obama administration began a five-year, $45 million media blitz yesterday to spark awareness about HIV infection and AIDS, saying that Americans have grown complacent about the deadly illness even though it represents “a serious threat to the health of our nation.”

The campaign, Act Against AIDS, will include public service announcements, advertising on trains, buses and other modes of public transportation, text messages and a Web site, NineAndaHalfMinutes.org, a reference to the frequency with which people are infected.

“There is a complacency . . . a false sense of security and a false sense of calm,” said Kevin Fenton, director of the national center for HIV/AIDS at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “Every 9 1/2 minutes, someone’s mother, someone’s daughter, someone’s father, someone’s friend is infected.”

Fenton said the campaign will initially target a group that nonprofit organizations overlooked for years as the disease spread: African Americans. Black people make up slightly more than 12 percent of the population, but they represent nearly half of new HIV infections and nearly half of Americans living with the disease, according to the CDC. One in 16 black men will be infected with HIV in his lifetime, along with one in 30 black women.

i think this is a good start for the obama administration’s new hiv/aids policy. the website, nineandahalfminutes.org contains four easy to navigate quadrants providing resources for learning the facts about hiv/aids, preventing transmission of the virus, living with hiv/aids & spreading the word about the campaign.

consider JNez@thirtydaes.com a part of the solution as this blog has been an advocate for hiv testing/treatment as well as disclosure of one’s hiv status to all potential intimate partners.

for additional resources, visit aids.gov and/or hivtest.org.

today, december 1, is the 20th annual observance of world aids day. world aids day began in 1988 as a day to bring attention to the global hiv/aids epidemic through ceremonies, memorials, and activism. there are now over 33 million people worldwide infected with hiv/aids, including one million here in america, according to the latest figures released by the unaids (united nations) project.

i, myself, have been living with hiv for 20 years and have benefited greatly from the resources made available to those infected with and affected by this disease. on this, and every day, i encourage you to get tested and learn/confirm your own hiv status and/or to generate a discussion around hiv/aids with your significant others, family & friends.  there are some disturbing trends in the increases in hiv infection among young black men and women that are worth addressing by all who have a platform to reach these & other similarly affected communities.

media attention on hiv/aids will be heightened today as world aids day is marked in ceremonies & events around the world. i challenge all of us to continue the dialogue around hiv/aids & sexuality well beyond today in order to begin to achieve the significant gains in treatment & prevention that our communities demand.

One of the nation’s leading HIV/AIDS policy groups, the Black Aids Institute, has released a new report that heavily criticizes our government’s response to the HIV/AIDS epidemic among Black Americans here.

Left Behind! Black America: A Neglected Priority In The Global AIDS Epidemic, was issued by the organization on Tuesday. In its 55 pages, the report declares that the US leads the international response to HIV/AIDS with several successful policy interventions while all but ignoring the epidemic among its own black citizens. The report includes alarming statistics about the rates of infection and lack of adequate health care in Black America that rival or even surpass those in african countries where AIDS has long been a major health crisis.

Phil Wilson, executive director of the Black Aids Institute and a co-author of the report, declares that if “Black America [were] a separate country, it would elicit major concern and extensive assistance from the U.S. government. Instead, the national response to AIDS among Black Americans has been lethargic and often neglectful.”

In the report, the US domestic HIV/AIDS policy is assailed as “fundamentally flawed” because of a misunderstanding about social networks in Black America. It demonstrates that the HIV/AIDS epidemic here has leaked well beyond traditional “high-risk” groups that are addressed within the US foreign policy prevention paradigm. The report calls for a “mass black mobilization” that targets entire communities in addition to high risk populations. It also demands increased funding and support for initiatives that target Black Americans in primary and secondary HIV prevention and treatment. Finally, Left Behind! encourages global AIDS leaders to “speak out on the neglect of” Black America’s AIDS epidemic while exhorting Black America to break the silence about HIV that has contributed to the devastation in its own community.

A summary of the report, issued in a press release on the Black Aids Institute website is here.

The full text of the report can be found here.