bi single dad laments/wry dark adult content

After a stinging defeat in North Carolina yesterday, marriage equality received an extraordinary endorsement today as President Obama became the first sitting president to declare his support for same sex marriage. During an interview with abc news correspondent and Good Morning America host Robin Roberts, the president affirmed that he believed same sex couples should be allowed to marry.

“I have to tell you that over the course of several years as I have talked to friends and family and neighbors when I think about members of my own staff who are in incredibly committed monogamous relationships, same-sex relationships, who are raising kids together, when I think about those soldiers or airmen or marines or sailors who are out there fighting on my behalf and yet feel constrained, even now that Don’t Ask Don’t Tell is gone, because they are not able to commit themselves in a marriage, at a certain point I’ve just concluded that for me personally it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same sex couples should be able to get married,”

Obama stated. He went on to explain that his position on this issue evolved after conversations with his wife and daughters indicated their comfort with & support for same sex marriage:

“You know, Malia and Sasha, they have friends whose parents are same-sex couples. There have been times where Michelle and I have been sitting around the dinner table and we’re talking about their friends and their parents and Malia and Sasha, it wouldn’t dawn on them that somehow their friends’ parents would be treated differently. It doesn’t make sense to them and frankly, that’s the kind of thing that prompts a change in perspective.”

The President then described how conversations First Lady Michelle Obama also advanced his ‘evolution’ on same sex marriage.

“This is something that, you know, we’ve talked about over the years and she, you know, she feels the same way, she feels the same way that I do. And that is that, in the end the values that I care most deeply about and she cares most deeply about is how we treat other people and, you know, I, you know, we are both practicing Christians and obviously this position may be considered to put us at odds with the views of others but, you know, when we think about our faith, the thing at root that we think about is, not only Christ sacrificing himself on our behalf, but it’s also the Golden Rule, you know, treat others the way you would want to be treated. And I think that’s what we try to impart to our kids and that’s what motivates me as president and I figure the most consistent I can be in being true to those precepts, the better I’ll be as a as a dad and a husband and hopefully the better I’ll be as president.”

It will be interesting to see how blacks and especially, the black church reacts to Obama’s stunning announcement today. I hope it provides a mirror for black christians to view how harmful it has been to oppress & demonize gays while also claiming to love and support family members and friends who are gay. The first black president of the United States has changed his mind on this human rights issue so what are you still waiting for?

voters in north carolina made their opposition to equal rights for gays official today by approving an amendment to the state constitution that states ‘marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State.’ although north carolina has an existing law that banned recognition of gay marriages, this voter approved amendment to the state constitution makes it far more difficult for any changes to be made to the law.

as you know, i was partly raised in fayetteville, north carolina. my father joined the military when i was 7 and moved our family from new york city to north carolina. i attended elementary, middle and 2 years of high school in fayetteville before leaving home & returning to new york city, largely due to the persecution i was experiencing in school and at home around my sexuality. my mother & father remain in north carolina and my sister and other relatives have also relocated there.

my family has struggled to accept my sexuality, even now, 24 years after i left home. we’ve had moments of quiet tolerance but for the most part, especially with my mother, disdain for my lifestyle has been no secret. my mother is extremely active in her church and uses scripture to defend and justify her opposition to homosexuality. she has said she was never prouder of me than she was when i was together with my daughters’ mom. still, i am shocked and deeply hurt to have confirmed hers was one of the votes cast in favor of this amendment.

help me understand how a mother who claims to love her son would be in support of denying him the opportunity to have his relationship acknowledged and protected? how can love prevent you from voting against the discrimination of your child based on the gender of the person he chooses to love? how could you not consider how i would feel knowing that not only are you personally opposed to my orientation but would also actively support hate and intolerance toward it? inside i’ve always known that this is how you feel and that is why i’ve distanced myself from you over the years. i can no longer enjoy the closeness we once shared knowing how contemptuous you remain of my lifestyle.

i believe any parent, child, sibling, relative, or friend of someone gay who voted for amendment 1 in north carolina today needs to examine what that really indicates about your true feelings for them. you can’t defend your actions by offering ‘i love my child/sibling/parent/relative but i don’t agree with his lifestyle.’ this ‘love’ you say you have for them and disagreement with or disdain for who they are or whom they love are no longer compatible. love is whole; it can’t be negotiated or selective. with love comes respect and respect should not permit your support of ideas or actions that oppose the interests of someone you love.

it’s time to draw a line in the sand. parents, friends, and relatives of gays & lesbians who claim to love and support us need to publicly declare and/or demonstrate allegiance to our quest for equality. you can no longer profess individual acceptance of your child, friend or relative without also speaking out against intolerance. our rights & protections are under attack and we need your help to support and defend them. out loud. your silence indicates a passive acceptance of the discrimination our enemies wish to uphold. either you are with us and against them or you agree with them and oppose us. it’s time to choose.

nature undergoes a stunning transformation during spring; from bleak & barren to gorgeous green. i’ve been capturing this transformation week by week in Bronx Park, beginning on march 8. on that date, temps hit 70 degrees for the first time this season. we experienced several days of well above average temps in march and although it took a while for nature to awaken in response to the warmth, trees and plants began to bloom 2~3 weeks ahead of schedule.

April’s weather was strange & unpredictable with mostly below average temps and little rainfall. still, there was steady blooming throughout the month and when the rains finally came on April 22 & 23, the result was an explosion of green that ushered nature into an early but welcome full bloom.

Here is Bronx Park on Thursday, March 8:

Ten days later:

March 26

April 8

April 25

May 4

On Sunday, April 29, I ventured into the city and captured these images of spring’s bloom:

Battery Park City, Lower Manhattan April 29

One World Trade Center, April 29

Central Park, North Woods April 29

Teyana Taylor (born December 10, 1990) is an American socialite, singer, rapper, choreographer, dancer and actress from Harlem, New York. In 2011, she appeared in Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Big Happy Family opposite rapper/actor Bow Wow. Previously, she was signed to Star Trak/Interscope Records but never saw an album release until now; as a free agent, she’s just released “The Misunderstanding of Teyana Taylor,” available as a free download on her website: www.gottaloveteyana.tumblr.com.

yo i am soooooo loving this chick right now…teyana taylor is giving me a mix of keyshia cole, mary j & janet!  on this new cd she borrows the drum track from prince’s ‘the beautiful ones’ & the melody from janet jackson’s ‘the pleasure principle’ for the club banger ‘DUI’ featuring Fabolous & Jadakiss. 20 years ago mary j blige sang: ‘i’m loving you/loving you every day/don’t you look no more/love without a limit.’ now in 2012, on the track ‘you know,’ teyana taylor corrects: ‘baby i love you/i’ll hold you down every day/so…don’t hurt me no more/my love’s got a limit/you know, you know, you know.’ aowwww! mary j would definitely be proud. also, teyana answers drake’s boozy, remorseful ‘marvin’s room’ phone call from her own similarly tipsy & sorrowful point of view (‘fuck that new girl that you think you found/but you’re calling me even when she’s around’) on the track ‘her room.’

my head is spinning with the realization that a young woman born in the 90s (!) is already offering such mature & seasoned r&b. teyana taylor is definitely a student of 80s janet, 90s mary j & 00s keyshia cole. clear a lane for her; she’s headed for equivalent stardom.

tonight has been the fail of the year

but the weather’s still pleasant out here

fuck it i’m buying another bottle of beer

sipping & listening to tunes in only one ear

not leaving until a fellow demon appears

to help release my semen like stifled tears

an elixir that very quickly disappears

oh hell it’s my farewell so *clink* cheers

suicide

is not the revenge you fantasize

they will bury you and mourn

but then move right along

without you in their lives

only permanently this time