bi single dad's lament/wry dark adult content

wow two of the most beautiful r&b singers just became mothers: christina milian & the-dream welcomed violet on friday 2.26.10 while keyshia cole and nba player daniel gibson became parents of daniel jr. last night, 3.2.10.

i know both the-dream & dude are basking in the afterglow of becoming fathers. it’s an amazing feeling. and you both got to see absolutely beautiful women carrying your child. i hope you loved her like a verb…lol it’s a challenge action-verb loving a pregnant woman sometimes but absolutely amazing to see your child growing within her.

congrats to both sets of parents! prepare to be transformed! lol. most of all i send both couples enough patience & love to stay together! stay married   the first year together with a new baby is a challenge. remember why you fell in love and keep thinking about how that love created your child together. together. so stay together. let’s make sure these two couples stay together folks….give them all the support they need

damn not much luv out there for tevin campbell. geez. dude had 2 very successful albums in the early 90s…and then you all abandoned him. his debut album, t.e.v.i.n. was released near his 15th birthday in november 1991 and spawned 5 hit singles, spread out over the next two years: “tell me what you want me to do” in 91, “goodbye” & “alone with you” in ‘92 and even into 1993: “confused” & “look what we’d have.” that’s pretty damn exceptional.

tevin campbell returned in fall ‘93 with an even more successful sophomore cd, “i’m ready.” it generated 4 huge hits: “can we talk”, “i’m ready” & “always in my heart” in collaboration with laface. prince’s sensual “shhh” released as an album cut in late ‘93 ensured that “i’m ready” would be tevin campbell’s most successful cd & tevin campbell spent all of ‘94 near the top of the charts.

but then…his third album in 1996, “back to the world”…the cd cover image…the braids. dayum. career ender there. the scandal of his arrest in a men’s restroom in ‘99 didn’t even generate enough interest in his final self-titled album that same year. no matter; before usher, we had tevin campbell’s teenage swagger and it wasn’t bad.

my doctor suggested an anal pap smear. it’s a test for abnormal cells generated by the hpv virus (anal warts) that may indicate anal cancer.  i agreed. the results were inconclusive so there’ll be a follow-up with a specialist. great. i bottom one time in my life and all this shit happens….lol.

anyway…it appears that anal cancer is a serious & growing health issue and has begun to affect the gay community at startling rates. i googled anal cancer for more info and i came across an alarming article from the southern voice, an lgbt publication, that bluntly states the facts about the connection between gay men, anal sex, anal warts, and anal cancer. the entire article is worth reproducing here:

Anal Warts, Anal Cancer, and Anal Pap Smears

Anal Cancer, which is rare in the general population, is somewhat common among men who have sex with men. It is also increased in women who have anal sex with multiple partners. It is something you should know about. It is very difficult to treat, and like most cancers, survival is much better if it is detected early. Some new important studies about it have been published recently. It is being talked about more, and recommendations for screening will probably appear over the next few years.

Anal cancer bears some resemblance to cervical cancer in women. Like cervical cancer, anal cancer is often caused by infection with the human papillomavirus (HPV), the virus that causes genital warts. It is spread by sexual contact. While unprotected anal intercourse is the most common way to get the infection (and warts) in and around the anus, anal penetration is not necessary. Rubbing the penis outside the anus can pass the virus. It may also be spread by hands or by sex toys. The infection causes small warts around and inside the anus or in the genital area. However, noticeable warts do not have to be present for a significant infection or cancer to exist.

Most people with anal warts do not develop anal cancer. People with HIV, especially with low CD4 counts, are much more likely to develop cancer from anal warts. A normal immune system is often able to kill the cancer cells. However, anal cancer does occur in HIV negative men. Certain strains of the HPV virus are more likely to cause cancer. Ironically, some of the most cancer producing strains make flat warts that are difficult to see.

There are several methods to test for HPV infection, pre-cancerous cells, and cancer in the anal area. The most accurate is biopsy, done by snipping a small piece of tissue from the anal canal. Because it is costly and a little painful, it is usually reserved for patients with a suspected problem or a positive Pap smear. A Pap smear usually refers to a sample taken from a woman’s cervix, but it may be done from other areas of the body. For an anal Pap smear, a cotton swab is placed in the anus and rotated to pick up cells. It is painless. The sample is then looked at under a microscope to identify abnormal cells. There are also other tests that use a swab and high tech methods to identify the virus.

Routine screening for anal cancer with anal Pap smears in high-risk groups is not done yet, but it may be soon. In the last 4 years, there have been numerous articles in the medical literature about screening for anal cancer and HPV infections. They mostly recommend it for homosexual and bisexual men who are HIV positive, the group at highest risk. In May, there was an article in the prestigious Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) showing the usefulness of routine anal Pap smear screening of HIV positive gay men. It demonstrated a decrease in death and illness at a cost similar to screening tests now in use for other illnesses. However, there are still questions that need to be answered and logistical problems to be solved, before screening programs are widely accepted.

What can you do before testing is available? Pay close attention to your body. If you have anal or genital warts, keep a close eye on them. Find a doctor you feel comfortable with, and have them checked, both for treatment to remove them and to look for suspicious areas. If you have any rectal problems, see your doctor. Most importantly, make sure you are always having safer sex. It’s not just for HIV prevention. There are many illnesses that are passed sexually, and others will be discovered. Protect yourself.

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wow…i can’t help but think that maybe this is just one more natural conviction of a deviant lifestyle…fellas: *ahem* get your anal pap smears.

i had no idea how hideous my jock itch scars were. i finally took a good look at my body and it is a dark, nappy mess down there. when did this happen?? omg. wtf. then my belly of course…it used to be so different. 20 years ago…give me back the body i had then. i’ll take better care of it, i promise.

now i feel absolutely unattractive. at least to the people who i’m attracted to…the pretty people. i’ve never been one but i’ve done ok lol. but i look at my body now and can’t possibly see how anyone could be turned on by it. i can only hope it looks different through a lens of lust lol.

i remember when i first felt jock itch. took me a while to get treated cause scratching down there felt so good. lol i’ve probably had it on and off for the last 13 years or so. i should have taken care of it the first time. never was consistent applying the fungal cream. it’s greasy and odorous. if you don’t apply it to the area twice daily for nearly 2 weeks it keeps returning.

i first noticed the scarring about 5 or 6 years ago. i was alarmed then but after that i only made sure i was consistent applying the cream whenever my crotch started to itch. man i used to get carried away scratching lol. but the itch was so intense…and i would often scratch until i drew blood. then it burned like hell showering.

i continued to ignore my jock itch scars. heck black people don’t scar well. the skin gets even darker, and coarse. that’s what’s going on in my crotch. now i’m propelled to action after looking at myself on video. what can i use to get rid of scars? cocoa butter of course…what am i thinking. 100% cocoa butter sticks…man they work wonders. we’ve used them in our family for generations.

i just have to apply the stick of cocoa butter to my crotch each time i shower. it’s also greasy but has a pleasant smell, like chocolate. i figure it will take at least a month of applying it twice every day before i see results. but i’m gonna start tonight.